


Benediction

by hurricane_in_space



Series: wildlands behind our ribs [7]
Category: Sicario (2015), Sicario (Movies), Sicario: Day of the Soldado
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Canon, Roadtrip, Suicidal Thoughts, a whole lot of guilt, alejandro is tough af, and feelings, and gratitude, cursing, field medicine, matt is feeling pretty protective right now, so many feelings, soft endings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 14:16:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15951053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hurricane_in_space/pseuds/hurricane_in_space
Summary: Matt had learned the hard way that life didn't give many second chances, so when they came you grasped them with both hands.It was a thousand mile drive to the safehouse on the coast, Matt's head full of memories, his passenger seat cradling a miracle. Gratitude, hope, love, flaring bright in his chest. Chasing down a future he'd never dared to imagine he could have.





	Benediction

**Author's Note:**

> Matt drives and contemplates. Alejandro sleeps. And they write their own blessing at the end of this life, as they step into their future.
> 
> \----------------
> 
> Picking up in the final moments of Soldado. This is a big dose of feelings and soft endings (and some 'thank fuck you're alive' sex, naturally), because they've endured enough. 
> 
> And who doesn't love adoring pet names?  
> Mi amado - my beloved  
> Mi alma - my soul  
> Mi amor - my love  
> Mi sol - my sun  
> Hermoso - handsome/beautiful 
> 
> As always, all mistakes are mine, including the possibly badly (google) translated Spanish.

Matt wasn't sure how he was moving, but somehow he'd climbed out of the chopper and was herding the kid along with him. All he could see was Alejandro's lifeless body, laying in the dust. All he wanted was to be spread out there with him. Too late. He'd been too late. To save him, to escape this shitshow of a job, to have a chance at a life. 

He always thought the end would come for him one day and he'd have to run, alone, disappear into the night to rot away in some quiet corner of the world. He never thought he'd have so much to lose. He’d utterly fucked up, gambled too high, waited too long. And now he’d lost everything. He stumbled, hand reaching out to grasp at the chopper for support, retching onto the ground. He needed to go back. Needed to find him and take his body home. Or maybe just put a bullet in his own head and let the coyotes have them both. 

He distantly felt Steve's hand on his shoulder, slipping around his ribs to help him walk, pulling him towards the building.

‘Come on boss,  _ come on _ .’

Matt was tripping over his own feet, head spinning, everything numb except the gaping wound in his chest where his heart had been decimated.

‘You're going back out there, yeah? We need to move fast before Foards catches on. I can buy you enough time to make it out of here, over the border, but we need to hurry. Come on boss, concentrate for me.’

Matt tried to breathe, tried to think straight. Cash, IDs, weapons. Steve was right to try and focus him, as soon as Foards found out what he'd done with the kid she'd tighten a net around him and it could be days before he'd get the chance to make it out. Steve shoved him towards the lockers.

‘Get your gear together, I’ll get you co-ords. Don't worry about the girl, the team have her, she'll be safe. I’ll make sure of it. Be  _ fast .’ _

Steve hurried from the room and Matt was moving on autopilot, familiar enough with what he'd need to let his body take over. His head was fixated on the sight of Alejandro dropping into the dirt, caught on an agonizing loop. He stripped out his tactical vest and was reaching for Alejandro’s locker before he realised what he was doing, grabbing his duffle and tossing it down with his own. He was paused at the sink, scrubbing water over his face as Steve burst through the door, expression manic.

‘Matt, he’s alive. He's fucking  _ alive . _ ’

He grabbed Matt's arms, dragging him towards the door, fumbling to help carry the bags by Matt's feet. He was talking so fast it was a blur of sound, but Matt's world had ground to a halt and he was hanging on every word.

‘I was pinpointing the location for you, checking our eyes, and his body was fucking gone. Tracked back and saw him climb his way out, take the green car and drive off. Fucking unbelievable bastard.’

Matt thought he might throw up again. He clutched hard at Steve's shoulder, hope flaring incandescent behind his ribs.

‘Holy  _ fuck _ Steve…’

The laugh that bubbled out of him was raw and bloody, his brain kicking into gear hard, focus snapping sharp.

‘This fucking changes things. I know where he'll be headed but I need to know where he starts so I can intercept him. Get me as much intel as you can, get me an open window over the border at McAllen, I have to go in armed, I’ll be moving fast and I’m not stopping for anyone. Then wipe it all. Lose us.’

He was shouldering his bags, turning for the armory.  _ Alive _ . How the fuck had he survived a headshot? Matt needed to get there as quickly as possible, tempted to steal a chopper, but what he'd gain in speed he’d lose in stealth. He could make the drive in 90 minutes, less if he got lucky. He paused as he took a bag from Steve's outstretched hand. Steve would be risking his job in a major fucking way with this.

‘Steve, thank you.’

Steve gave him a tight smile, shook his head.

‘Don’t you dare. You’d do the same for me.’

Matt nodded. In a heartbeat. Maybe he'd get the chance to repay him someday. He turned back towards the armory.

‘Give me 5 minutes, I’ll meet you round back.’

Steve was dashing off again, and Matt picked up the pace as he entered the storage room, grabbing another duffel and filling it with supplies. His heart was pounding hard, present and accounted for again, he knew he was probably going to forget things but he didn't care. He’d tear the world apart to get to Alejandro, armed or not. He snatched up his collection of bags and ran to the back of the building, needing a jeep and a swift exit. Steve appeared as he was loading everything in the backseat.

‘I’ve tracked him heading into Reynosa, but the longer I watch him the more at risk we put him.’

Steve gestured at co-ords on a GPS in his hand, and Matt committed the street names to memory.

‘He pulled into a medical centre here, on the edge of town, went in through the side. Place looked closed, thank fuck for Sunday, no other cars in the lot. Hasn't come out yet. He was walking, not steady, but walking. Armed.’

Matt was climbing into the jeep, taking the sat phone and headset Steve was handing him.

‘He’ll ditch the car, won't stay there long. I can find him, that's enough, start wiping it all.’

He slammed the door, winding the window down.

‘If you need to reach me, I’ll keep an eye on the usual dropboxes.’

Steve grabbed his forearm through the window and squeezed. 

‘Fly like the devil, boss. They'll be coming for you, don't know how long I can keep them off your tail.’

Matt smiled at him, determined and fond, pulled on the headset and turned the key in the ignition. Steve stepped back, a loose salute before he turned and walked briskly back to the command room. Matt's headset crackled to life as he tore away from the holding facility, tires skipping on the asphalt.

‘I’ll keep an eye on you, hold a lane clear when you get close, make sure you don't have to stop. Just fucking floor it.’

Matt was eating up the highway, pushing the jeep hard. The miles between him and the Reynosa crossing quickly disappeared behind him, but it still felt like he was crawling. Maybe he should have just stolen a chopper after all. The delay was costing him, he knew it, felt every long minute scratching away at his sanity. So far he hadn't clocked any pursuers, Steve was doing a good job, he just needed to hold out a little longer. The click of his headset as the border came into sight was a welcome reassurance.

‘I’ve got you a window, there’ll be a gate open on the closed lane ahead, fourth lane in from the left.’

He let out the breath he'd been holding.

‘Hey boss. It's been a privilege.’

Matt smiled.

‘Yeah, Steve, for me too. I’ll keep a beer cold for you.’

He sped through the checkpoint, pulling the headset off as he took a deep breath. He was on his own now.

_ Hold on Alejandro, I’m coming for you. _

 

\-----------------------  
  


The medical centre was silent as he broke in through a side door, closed up for the week. Almost a couple of hours had passed, Alejandro was long gone, and Matt knew he'd keep moving until he had as much distance between himself and the border as possible. He elbowed through another doorway and the sight that greeted him shouldn't have made his stomach turn the way it did. A sink full of filthy swabs and bandages, cabinets flung open and emptied, blood splattered all over the floor.  _ Alejandro's _ blood all over the floor. 

He coaxed his brain away from the creeping feeling of dread. There was nothing to be gained by turning down that path, closing the distance between them was the most important thing now. He had to focus, stay clear. Alejandro had patched himself up, raided the cabinets for supplies and gotten out. There’d be breadcrumbs here somewhere, Matt was certain of it. He scanned the room, a bloody smear on the doorframe catching his eye, and he stepped back out through the door into the waiting room. 

‘Come on Alejandro, where to next?’

It had to be something unobtrusive, something that wouldn't be stand out to anyone but him. He moved over to the reception desk, eyes skipping over an array of unremarkable detritus, settling on a sticky note attached to a stack of paperwork. He knew Alejandro's handwriting as well as he knew his own.

_ San Fernando - drinks. _

Snatching up the note he sprinted for the carpark, threw himself into the driver's seat and peeled out of the driveway. He’d need to swap the car before he went much further, but he could be there in a couple of hours. 

They’d passed through San Fernando a few years earlier after a messy op, stopped at a bar in the town center for a drink, he remembered the place. They’d all been edgy, sweating and biting at each other, and when Matt had announced over the snarking that he'd needed a drink the whole car went quiet. The cold beer and Steve's sense of humour helped everyone relax, let them find their balance again. Another bright memory in amongst decades of bloodshed. 

He spotted an undercover carpark ahead on the the left, exactly what he needed, slowed down and pulled in, parking alongside a battered SUV. He broke the rear passenger window and reached in to unlock the door, tossing his gear into the backseat as quickly as possible before moving to the driver's side to hotwire the starter. He took a moment to breathe while he waited for another car to drive towards the exit, the diversion he needed. He pulled out to exit the garage just ahead of the other car, resisting every urge to accelerate hard, and cruised down the main road towards highway 97. Clearing the city he sped up, letting his desperation bleed through. 

A sick ache sat heavy in his gut, guilt and regret curdled through with hope. He should have been there. When Foards ordered him to clean up the mess he should have hauled ass and run. He thought he could work around it and outsmart them, get out there and bring Alejandro and the kid both back Stateside, prove there was no risk to keeping them alive. He should have known it wouldn't be that straightforward. Should have known things would go sideways at the border. 

The image of Alejandro, bagged and struggling against his captors in the dirt, was seared into Matt's mind. Something he knew he'd be seeing in his nightmares until the day he died. The thought of him alone and afraid brought a hot wave of nausea crashing over him, the road ahead blurring through wet eyes.  _ Fuck. _ He didn't even know what Alejandro's injuries were, how bad they were. What if this wasn't a second chance at all? What if this was just an opportunity to say goodbye? Or not even that? He slammed his palms against the steering wheel and snarled his impotent frustration, pushing the SUV faster. He’d make it, Alejandro would be okay, he had to be. He’d pulled himself out of the desert and through a medical centre, made it this far. He had to know Matt would be coming for him, he'd keep fighting. 

If Matt believed in any kind of god he'd be praying right now. Fuck, he wondered if he should anyway, if any higher power out there might grant them clemency after everything they'd done.

‘Just let him live…’

Words sobbed on a breath, barely spoken, screaming in his mind.

‘...please.’

There were no bargains to be struck, no promises to make. He wasn't fool enough to try. They’d both ended so many lives, tortured and taken what they needed, executed dozens without so much as a pause. It didn't matter what drove them, how they reasoned out what they did. Neither of them were good men, not really. If this was how things ended for them there were a lot of people who’d say it would be no more than what they deserved, Matt supposed. But he’d never believed the world worked like that, and he wasn't about to start now. Nothing in life was black and white, nothing that simple, and he just wasn't done yet. Alejandro was his beacon, his light. He’d woken Matt up from his grey life, made him feel, given him hope. Peace. Love. If life were fair, well, a man like him should never have gotten so lucky. But it was all just one long fucking game,  and _he wasn't done yet_ _.  _

Matt flew into the turn off for route 101, maybe 20 or 30 minutes out now, his fingers twitching on the wheel.

‘Almost there, hang on.’

The first time he'd told Alejandro he loved him, they'd been in Cartagena. A night spent dancing, sweat cooling on their skin as they made their way back to Alejandro's home. They’d shared the sentiment in the weeks before, told each other with their bodies and gentle confessions, but the first time he'd uttered those words had been that humid night in the Old Town. Once he’d said it he couldn't stop, taking Alejandro back to his bed and making love to him until the sun rose, worshipful. He felt like he'd said those three little words a thousand times since then, heard them from Alejandro's lips too, their own soft benediction. Their hearts finding an equal in this as in everything else.

As streets started to build up around him Matt eased off the accelerator a little, moderating his speed as he recalled locations. The bar had been on a street off the 101, not far past a supermarket if he remembered right. He made the turn, slowing down to scan the businesses he passed, street buzzing with midday activity. 

He spotted the bar before he reached it, tables full of people lounging in the sunshine spilling out over the footpath, a flood of memories coming back to him. He yanked the steering wheel sharply, pulled up to the kerb and lept out. If Alejandro was here, he'd be watching and close by, not out in the open. Matt walked down the footpath glancing between buildings and into cars, letting his gut lead him. 

_ There. _

Opposite side of the street, a body slumped in the driver's seat of a shitty sedan. Matt was crossing the street and hauling open the passenger door in seconds, climbing into the car and crawling over the front seat, grasping at the broken man behind the wheel.

‘Alejandro...oh  _ fuck _ , come on,  _ look at me . _ ’

He was desperate, cataloguing every detail as he begged for reassurance. There was blood and filth everywhere, trapped in his hair and clothes, crusted in smears over his temples where his fast clean up had missed, crude bandages patched across his swollen face. Two cheek wounds, likely a single shot passing right through, and  _fuck _ what kind of luck had been on his side for that one? Some green kid with no idea what he was doing, missing everything vital by a hair.

Alejandro's eyes flickered open, struggling to focus, his hand reaching for Matt and gripping weakly at his forearm. He made a raw sound in his throat, relief and pain in equal measure.

‘It's okay, it's okay, I'm here, I’ve got you now.’

Matt was rambling, longing to soothe them both. A handful of hours ago Alejandro had been bleeding in the desert, and Matt had been deciding if a world without him was one that he wanted to stay living in. And now Alejandro was here in his arms.  _ Safe _ . He wanted to scream, wail through the onslaught of emotions crashing over him. 

‘I’m gonna bring my car around, move you over, then you can rest and I’ll get us out of here.’

He placed his hand gingerly against Alejandro's temple, brushing gore-encrusted hair away from his bruised eyes.

‘Fuck, I have no idea how you managed this, but you scared the shit out of me. I love you so fucking much. It's gonna be okay now.’

Alejandro's eyes were focused in on him, the hand on his arm squeezing.

‘Yeah. Yeah, just wait here, I’ll only be a moment.’

Matt climbed back out of the car and ran for the SUV, vision blurry as he pulled open the door and threw himself behind the wheel. Jesus, when had he started crying again? Tires screamed as he swung the car around, drawing up next to the sedan, leaving the engine running as he jumped out. 

He wrenched the driver's side door open and leant into Alejandro's space, sliding an arm around his back.

‘Come on now, you're gonna have to help me here.’

Between them they managed to lever him out of the car and stumble over to the SUV, Alejandro almost a deadweight against Matt's side. Blood loss and exhaustion, Matt was assuming, hoping, but he really wanted to get a proper look at him and make sure they didn't need to find a hospital. Matt carefully helped Alejandro into the passenger seat before dashing back to the sedan for the bag of medical supplies and handful of weapons that had been on the floor. 

Throwing everything into the back seat of the SUV, he got behind the wheel and accelerated, zigzagging through a couple of side streets before finding a quiet spot to pull over again. 

‘Alejandro…’

Matt watched closely as the other man tilted his head and glanced over, slowly holding his hand up,  _ Stop _ . Fingers struggled to curl into a series of pained shapes, the gestures forcing Matt to focus and change gears in his brain.

_ I-S-A-B-E-L _

Fuck, he should have mentioned the kid already.

‘She's safe. I took her back Stateside, left her with the boys. I wanted to put her into witness protection, Steve promised he’d take care of her. You did good. She'll be okay.’

He took Alejandro's hand in his, massaged his fingers as he watched him close his eyes and let his body slump in obvious relief.

‘I have to know how bad this is. Need to know if our first stop should be a hospital.’

Alejandro opened his eyes and narrowed them, a tick of his eyebrows communicating exactly how he felt about going to a hospital. At least his level of alertness was encouraging.

‘Yeah yeah, okay, I’m not keen on it either, but I’m even less keen on complications that I can't fix on the road later. So. Humour me here.’

He placed Alejandro's hand on his arm. 

‘Squeeze once for yes, twice for no, okay?’

One squeeze.

‘Excellent, alright. One bullet, straight through both cheeks?’

_ Yes. _

‘Any damage to your teeth or jaw?’

_ No. _

That was a big one, meant no shattered bone fragments to deal with. Matt felt some of his worry dislodge from his chest. Probably meant he'd been gagged, mouth stretched open, no other way a bullet would have missed everything.

‘Your mouth was held open?’

_ Yes. _

He stretched his own mouth wide, gestured to the middle of his cheeks with his thumb and index finger.

‘Passed through about here?’

_ Yes. _

Another moment of relief. His arteries were very likely all intact, blood loss not as extreme as it could have been. Lucky didn't even start to cover it.

‘Okay, okay. Good. And other major injuries? Broken ribs?’

_ No. _

Matt nodded, beyond grateful. The panic that had been knotted in his gut was slowly starting to loosen.

‘At the medical centre, you irrigated and packed it, yeah?’

_ Yes. _

‘Antibiotics?’

_ Yes. _

‘Painkillers?’

_ No. _

That was probably the only reason he was still so alert, but jesus, it had been  _ hours _ .

‘We're gonna fix that now.’

Matt retrieved the plastic bag of supplies from the backseat. It looked like Alejandro had cleared out half the medical centre, and all the good shit at that.

‘Well this makes things a hell of a lot easier. I’m gonna give you fluids too. Hopefully we won't need to get blood for you, but we’ll keep an eye on it yeah?’

He pulled out a vial of oxycodone and a cannula, a syringe and alcohol wipes, tied an IV bag of saline to the headrest. 

Alejandro held out his arm for the tourniquet, and Matt kept talking while he put in the cannula. Like riding a bike. 

‘So I’m thinking I take us through to Tampico, switch the car there.’

He secured the tubing, removed the tourniquet and injected a decent dose of painkillers.

‘Keep driving through to Poza Rica, take a hotel break for a while to get you cleaned up. Sound alright?’

Alejandro was watching him intently, and squeezed his arm again. Matt paused, returning his gaze, lost for a heartbeat as warmth flooded his veins. He brought Alejandro's hand to his lips and kissed his palm, his wrist, wrapped his fingers over his jaw. He held him there, Alejandro tracing his cheekbone, Matt stroking their twined fingers together, their relief palpable. 

He reluctantly pulled away, connected the IV, shoved the sharps into the glovebox and tossed the supplies over the back. They needed to get moving. Still being this close to the border was making Matt antsy.

He slid back into the driver's seat, turned the key in the ignition and pulled out, making his way back to the 101. He reached over to rest a hand on Alejandro's thigh, needing the contact, and Alejandro laced their fingers together again. Matt exhaled a shaky breath, felt Alejandro relax next to him, the painkillers starting to kick in. He glanced over as he drove, watching as Alejandro's eyes drifted shut. Took in the pulpy mess of his swollen face, his matted hair, his blood-soaked clothes. And felt a bone-deep sense of gratitude. 

Silent tears tracked down Matt’s face as his body trembled, the adrenaline dump from the last few hours leaving him drained. His heart felt like it might burst from the pressure of trying to contain all the relief and guilt. 

He wished there was a faster way to get them to the safehouse in Puerto Escondido, maybe just snap his fingers and spirit them there on willpower alone. Hide them away. If he could get them to Poza Rica and sleep for a few hours he was sure he could drive the next stretch in one hit. 14 hours or so, straight down to the coast. 

The safehouse would be solid, well stocked with everything he’d need to make them disappear, Alejandro was nothing if not organised. They could rest there for a few days and let Alejandro recover enough to make the jump out of the country. Get in touch with Steve and make sure their false trails were working. He just had to stay focused, try not to think too hard about how close he’d come to his own personal apocalypse. He’d drive himself insane if he went down that path. Alejandro was here with him now, Matt could protect them both, and he'd recover. Things were going to be alright.  
  


\-----------------------

 

They’d switched the car in Tampico late afternoon as planned, making good time. Alejandro had slept for most of the drive, the drugs doing their job, stirring just as the sun had started to drop towards the horizon. They were still a couple of hours outside Poza Rica, the sunset burning the sky peach and gold, their car glowing with the light and feeling like a safe little bubble around them. Matt pulled over when Alejandro started getting restless.

‘More painkillers?’

Alejandro reached over and squeezed his knee and Matt scooped up his hand, kissing his knuckles and rubbing circles into his wrist. He retrieved the oxy and a fresh syringe, gave him another good dose, and pulled a blanket out of the back to wrap around him.

‘We're still a couple of hours out. Get some more sleep if you can.’

Alejandro had shifted a little, tilting his head to watch Matt as he tidied up and pulled back out onto the road. His hazel eyes were flecked through with blood, burst capillaries turning them the same muddy shade as his bruised skin. Matt smiled gently at him, at how fucking remarkable this whole situation was.

‘This is not exactly the kind of road trip I imagined us taking one day. Had always pictured more romantic pitstops, some hiking, maybe some slightly uncomfortable backseat sex. Definitely less blood.’

He glanced over at Alejandro and caught the twitch of his lips, the ghost of a smile, amusement flashing through the exhaustion in his eyes.

‘Sleep, mi amado, I’ll wake you when we get there.’

Alejandro studied him for a few moments more, before letting his eyes close again. Matt kept glancing over at him, captivated by the resilience of this man, broken and battered but still fighting. Matt couldn't imagine ever loving anyone else like this, bone-deep and woven through with admiration.  
  


\--------------------------

 

Matt woke Alejandro as they crossed the Cazones River, through to the city centre, the cool night wrapping around them. He wanted to get Alejandro into a decent hotel, get him clean and stretched out in a bed for a few hours. Undercover parking to keep them out of sight and some goddamn room service wouldn't go astray either. He spotted a hotel that looked like it might fit the bill, and pulled over to the kerb. 

‘I’m gonna go in and organise us a room. I’ll be back in a few minutes.’

He reached into the back and pulled a handgun out of a duffel, passing it to Alejandro before climbing out and walking across to the hotel entrance. The work of an alias credit card and a few minutes, and Matt was back in the car, driving into the parking garage and finding a spot near the guest entrance. Killing the engine he went around to the back and unloaded their bags, as Alejandro unhooked his IV and climbed out of the car. 

‘Here, let's try not to frighten anyone on our way in.’

He wrapped the blanket around Alejandro's shoulders, a token effort to disguise his blood-stained clothes. 

‘Red carpet ready, baby.’

Alejandro rolled his eyes and Matt grinned up at him. He shouldered their bags, slowly leading them through the garage and into the side entrance of the hotel. 

The short journey up to their room was blissfully uneventful, and Matt felt an overwhelming desire to collapse as soon as he laid eyes on the bed. He was suddenly very aware of the stiffness in his limbs, a collection of aches accumulated from the mass of tension held over the past 24 hours. What he'd give for a massage.

He turned to Alejandro as he stretched his back out, taking the blanket from his shoulders and dumping it on the floor, before kneeling to unlace his filthy boots. He took care of his own while he was there, then rose and ushered him into the bathroom.

‘I have a feeling this shower is going to rank amongst your  _ Top 5 Showers of All Time . _ ’

Alejandro nodded slightly, and began to fumble for the buttons of his shirt, but Matt was already intercepting his hands.

‘Let me.’

The words were soft, playful distractions of a moment earlier dropped in favour of something tender. He slowly unbuttoned Alejandro's filthy chequered shirt, pushing it from his shoulders to pool on the cold tile. The once-white tee he had underneath was a grisly mess, and Matt retrieved a knife to cut it from him rather than trying to pull it over his head. He skimmed his fingers down Alejandro's bare chest, navigating around new bruises and old scars, fingers lingering on his stomach.

‘Oh god, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn't there. I should have been…’

His voice caught in the back of his throat. Alejandro reached for him, pressed fingers to his mouth, shook his head and leant in to delicately rest their foreheads together. Matt was shivering, trying to steady his breathing. He couldn't change what had happened, but he could take care of him now.

Matt let his hands continue their mission, moving on to undo Alejandro's pants, pushing them off his hips and taking his underwear with them, down long legs, helping him step out of the bunched fabric. He let his eyes wander as he stood back up, cataloguing injuries, and taking in the way that even beaten and raw Alejandro still looked strong. Powerful. Beautiful. 

He shifted his attention to his own clothing, stripping quickly, reaching in to turn on the shower. He paused for a moment to allow the water to run hot before giving Alejandro space to step under the spray, grabbing the little bottles of complimentary products from beside the sink before following him in.

Matt watched as water sluiced down Alejandro's body, white tile turning rust red with all the gore. He stepped in close, hands tipping Alejandro's head back under the spray, a mass of encrusted blood and sand washing loose. He gently maneuvered them so that Alejandro was facing the wall, brought his arms up and encouraged him to brace himself there. He slumped a little against the cool tile as Matt began to massage shampoo into his hair, rubbing patterns against his scalp as he worked. 

‘Close your eyes.’

He whispered against Alejandro's neck, body pressed close as he tilted the showerhead over to rinse his hair. Matt repeated the process, gentle fingers working through tangles, making sure the water was running clear before slicking conditioner through the shaggy strands and rinsing again. 

He pressed a soft kiss behind Alejandro's ear. Pouring soap into the cup of his hand and lathering it along the line of his shoulders, he began steadily working away the blood and grime. Delicate pressure over split skin and purpling ribs, tracing the notches of his spine, massaging over his hips and ass. He stayed close, turning Alejandro in his arms, pressing him gently back against the shower wall. 

More soap slick between his palms, fingers passing feather-soft over his throat, his collarbone, pressure building along strong arms to dig lightly into the muscle there, gentle around the cannula in the crease of his elbow. He trailed a tender path from chest to waist to stomach, pausing for a beat to catch Alejandro's gaze before dropping to his knees. A little more soap, and hands moving purposefully into dark hair, along the length of his cock, over his balls, dipping between his legs. Alejandro gave the wall more of his weight, his stance widening a fraction. Matt let his touch linger, become a little sweeter, a whisper of pleasure for a body subjected to so much pain. 

He placed a kiss to Alejandro's hip, fingers ghosting over delicate parts of him a moment longer before resuming their path down muscular thighs, calves, pressing into the arches of his feet. A kiss pressed into the other hip as he rose again, another to his shoulder as he angled the shower spray over him. Matt soaped himself up as the hot water coursed down Alejandro's body, running clear now. 

Alejandro drew him under the spray, tugged him close, and they anchored themselves to one another. Held tight against the weight of what almost was. 

Matt glanced up, taking in Alejandro's closed eyes, the relaxed lines of his brow. He rubbed gently at a stubborn fleck of blood on his temple, tucked wet hair behind his ear.

‘I think we should take these bandages off. Let me check the wounds, put some stitches in.’

Matt felt Alejandro sigh from deep in his chest, opening his eyes slowly as he nodded, tongue passing over his bottom lip. His eyebrows ticked a little with the movement. Matt had been shot plenty of times, but never in the face, and he could only guess at the pain even those tiny expressions must be causing.

Matt flicked at the edge of the tape holding the bandages in place, the heat of the shower having helped to soften the adhesive, and carefully eased the gauze away. One cheek, and then the other. 

The entry wound was tidy, a few stitches would see it closed. The exit wound was exactly the tattered mess he was expecting, a decent chance of some nerve damage, but if their luck held out maybe it wouldn't be too bad. 

Alejandro reached into his mouth, gingerly pulling on the wadded up gauze he’d packed into his cheeks. Matt took over, drawing the last of the cloth free and dropping it on the floor, before tilting Alejandro's head back a little to rinse his face clean of the final traces of blood.

‘Okay, ready to leave the hot water behind?’

Alejandro let a small huff of protest pass his lips, playful annoyance blended with genuine exhaustion, and Matt turned off the tap. He climbed out, guiding Alejandro forward over the edge of the shower, making sure he was steady before stepping away to retrieve towels. He wrapped one around Alejandro's shoulders, used another to dry his body, gentle hands carefully following the path he'd traced minutes before. Grabbing another towel he gave his own body a cursory once-over, securing the towel around his hips. 

He led Alejandro out of the bathroom and got him settled in the bed, a stack of pillows nested at his back, sheets drawn over his waist.

‘Now let's see what other goodies your smash and grab at the medical centre provided us with.’

Matt upended the plastic bag all over the end of the bed, and cheered as he unearthed a vial of local anesthetic. 

‘Fucking Lidocaine. Jesus fuck you did well. I wasn't looking forward to doing this old school.’

He grabbed up a syringe, needle and thread, alcohol wipes, climbed onto the bed and straddled Alejandro's thighs. Wiping down the entry wound first, Matt drew and injected a small dose of anesthetic into his cheek. He dropped a kiss to Alejandro's forehead, his temple, resting there while they waited for the drug to kick in. 

Neither of them were strangers to field medicine. Over the years he knew they’d sewn up themselves and other people countless times, dug bullets from wounds, scrubbed melted fabric from burns, picked debris from abraded skin. Sometimes with luxuries like painkillers or anesthetic, most times with a belt strap between your teeth so you didn't bite through your tongue. So to have the opportunity to be gentle like this? Add it to the list of things Matt was grateful for today.

‘Okay, this one’ll be fast. Put your hands on my thighs, squeeze if you need me to stop. Here we go.’

Matt took a steadying breath, held Alejandro's face at a better angle, and pierced the needle into his cheek. He moved as quickly as he could, pulling the needle through, cinching the wound closed and tying off at the end. A deep breath, Alejandro shifting underneath him. 

‘One down, one to go. You good?’

Alejandro squeezed his bare thighs where he'd slid his hands up high under Matt's towel.

‘Hmmm, watch those creeping fingers there, don't wanna distract the doctor.’

Matt smirked as Alejandro blinked slowly at him, lip twitching. Prepping a bigger dose of the drug this time, he injected the other cheek, reset his needle and thread. 

‘This one might take a bit longer, but I’ll go as fast as I can, okay?’

Alejandro's fingers flexed against his skin.

‘Yeah, okay, let's get this done.’

He adjusted Alejandro's head, held firm, and slid the needle home. There was a little more detail needed here, the exit wound shredded around the border leaving jagged flaps of skin. He nudged the edges of the wound, lining them up best as he could manage, pulling the thread tight.

Alejandro had closed his eyes at some point, his hands stilled on Matt's skin, the twin points of contact while Matt worked grounding him. He closed off the final stitch and tied the thread, putting the needle aside and wiping both cheeks over with alcohol again as he inspected his work.

‘All done, and not a bad job if I do say so myself. You’ll still win all those beauty contests, at least.’

Matt grinned as Alejandro rolled his eyes, digging his fingers into the meat of his thighs. He climbed up to clean all the gear off the bed, returning to tape fresh gauze over the surgical sites.

‘You're still a few hours off another dose of oxy, what do you think about a nap?’

Matt walked over to their pile of bags, retrieved a couple of guns and tucked them by the bed. Alejandro was reaching for him as he returned and drew back the blankets, tugging the damp towel from his hips and climbing in alongside him. He pressed their bare bodies close, gathering Alejandro's back to his chest, settling in. Alejandro's hand slipped down his side, hitching Matt's leg over his hip, before returning to tangle their fingers together. Matt sighed, breathing in the clean scent of him, revelling in the feel of Alejandro safe in his arms. They drifted.  
  


\--------------------  
  


Matt stirred when Alejandro began shifting around in his sleep. He glanced at the clock on the bedside table, they'd been out a little over two hours. He started to shift out of the bed, and Alejandro startled.

‘Shhh, it's okay mi amor, you're safe.’

He pressed back in and whispered calmly against Alejandro's ear, dropped soft kisses to the crown of his head, the tension in Alejandro's shoulders evaporating. 

‘You're good for more oxy, and I was thinking another IV bag too. Some more antibiotics. And I need to eat. Might have to leave this little nest.’

Matt rubbed his cheek against Alejandro's hair, luxuriating for a moment longer in being wrapped up together. He pulled away to climb out of the bed, instantly wanting to get back in, instead turning away to go find some pants. Alejandro repositioned himself to sit up, sheets riding low on his hips, studying him openly as he zipped himself into a pair of tight-fitting jeans. 

He still remembered the first time he wore jeans like this around his team. It had been years ago, not all that long after Steve had joined them, and the kid had been giving him endless shit about his love of cargo shorts. His crocs. Entirely convinced that Matt owned nothing stylish, and merciless in his running commentary, so Matt had worn them to prove a point.  _Jesus christ boss, you're fucking built. And packing heat. Fuck. Nope, I’ve changed my mind, this is way too distracting, never wear those again. _ Matt had laughed, and it had been the start of a long-standing joke between them. It had also confirmed some of his suspicions about Alejandro, who had spent the rest of that night staring at him unashamedly. 

As he walked back to the bed with fresh medical supplies Alejandro reached out to hook fingers into his belt loops, dragging Matt back onto the bed to straddle his lap. Those strong hands bracketed his waist, slipped around to grope his denim-clad ass and draw him in tight, an appreciative noise rumbling deep in his throat, a shallow roll of his hips. Matt hummed, bent down to press open-mouthed kisses to his bruised neck, ran his hands through soft hair.

‘This is absolutely  _ not  _ the time for this, but you're fucking glorious, beat to hell or not, and the day I don't want to fuck you will be the day I’m dead…’

He licked along the shell of Alejandro's ear, took his earlobe between his teeth and bit gently, a smile playing along his lips.

‘...fuck, even that probably wouldn't stop me. I’d be like Patrick Swayze in Ghost, still trying to get into your pants from the afterlife.’

Alejandro let an amused sound scrape from his throat, sore around the edges, and Matt pulled back to meet his gaze. Alejandro's eyes were bright, focused and hungry, pain warring with desire.

‘Fuck, I’m sorry, I shouldn't make you laugh.’

He ran his tongue along his bottom lip, leant in to place a careful kiss to Alejandro's mouth, resting their foreheads together.

‘I’m gonna get us to Puerto Escondido tomorrow, make sure we're safe, utterly off the radar. And then I plan on spending  _ days _ making love to you, making you feel good, distracting you from every single hint of pain.’

Alejandro reached for him, hands wrapping around the base of his skull to twine fingers in his hair. He stroked at Matt's jaw, shifting his grip to run his thumbs over Matt's cheekbones, touch adoring, gaze hot.

‘Matt, mi alma…’

Hushed words, dragged over the grit of his swollen throat. Matt pressed another delicate kiss to his mouth, another to his neck, his shoulder. Trailed his lips down Alejandro's arm until he reached the cannula.

‘Painkillers, antibiotics, saline. And we should get back on the road soon.’

Alejandro nodded, gave another smooth roll of his hips. Matt groaned quietly, pressing back against him, continuing the languid pace of their movements as he prepped and injected the array of drugs, hooked up an IV bag to rest on the bedhead. The friction between them was slow and sweet, good in that bone-deep way that walked the line between comforting and erotic, never tipping.

Matt stroked his hands over Alejandro's stomach, soothing. 

‘Fuck, that's real nice, you are the worst patient.’

He gradually stilled himself on Alejandro's hips, using every ounce of willpower to climb off his lap. Alejandro made a small noise of disappointment, and Matt huffed out a laugh on a shaky breath.

‘Yeah, yeah I know. Rest, hermoso.’

He stayed tucked up to Alejandro's side until he felt his breathing even out, dozing lightly, before shifting off the bed to order some room service and find a shirt. Pack them up. Part of him wanted to just let Alejandro sleep, and fuck he knew he should get some too, but he needed to get more distance in on the road. He wouldn't relax until he knew they were safe, and his instincts were shouting at him to keep running, so that's what they'd do.   
  


_ \------------------- _  
  


They’d left Poza Rica a little after midnight, been back on the road about an hour before Matt started feeling itchy, and it was almost 2am now. Something in his lizard brain was making him increasingly restless, like there were eyes burning into the back of his neck. They’d been flying along the highway, Matt never terribly fond of speed limits, not far now from the turn-off onto highway 119. Time to make a decision, keep to their course down to Puebla via Tlaxcala, or divert through the chaos of Mexico City. He’d never been one to ignore his gut instinct, and wasn't about to start now.

Matt placed a hand on Alejandro's shoulder, trying not to startle him too badly as he stirred. He pushed the car a little faster as Alejandro glanced over at him, brow furrowed.

‘We're making a pitstop in La Boveda. I need internet access, have to check the dropboxes. My gut has been twitchy for a while.’

Alejandro hummed, straightening up and growing more alert. They’d worked together long enough to trust each other's instincts implicitly. 

They pulled into the deserted parking lot of a restaurant along the highway a short while later, Matt slipping a gun into his waistband and handing another over to Alejandro. 

‘I’ll be five minutes.’

He walked around the building looking for a back entrance, and jimmied open a side door. There was a small office in the back, and he spent a minute getting the computer running. He worked quickly, thankful for the system he and Steve had set up years before, and it only took him a few moments to find the message he'd been hoping wouldn't be there.

_ You have a tail. Dept Poza Rica 0107. Three-man team. Not our boys.  _

About an hour behind them.  _ Fuck .  _ He cleared as much evidence as he could from the computer and slipped back outside, jogging across the carpark. He threw himself behind the wheel and swung out of the driveway while he relayed the message to Alejandro. 

‘Three guys for us is an insult that's for sure. They've sent messengers not cleaners. Still, I’d rather not engage at all, doesn't seem necessary.’

Alejandro hummed his agreement. Dropping bodies just for the sake of it had never held all that much appeal for either of them. 

‘I’m thinking we head for Mexico City, lose them in the sprawl, let them think we’ve skipped out of the country. We’ve got enough of a lead to make it work.’

He glanced at Alejandro, clocking the nod he sent Matt's way. He pushed the car hard, burning up the highway as they tried to increase the distance between them and their pursuers. They were about a hundred miles outside of Mexico City, the night wrapped around them, the intense focus of  _ purpose _ settling between them. 

Matt didn't want to get them caught in any kind of close quarters fight, not with Alejandro still high on painkillers. Though if he was honest, even a doped up Alejandro was leagues ahead of the vast majority of other operatives he’d worked with over the years. Regardless, he felt like he'd lose his mind if anyone even looked the wrong way at Alejandro at the moment, not the most rational bunch of feelings but there you have it. Better to avoid confrontations altogether for a while at least. 

He didn't like the thought that they were being watched, and liked it even less that he'd been so caught up in his concern for Alejandro that he had let himself forget just how hard his bosses would fight to keep him in their pocket. It wouldn't take much to get them clear of this, he just needed to get his head in the game. 

The streets of Mexico City would give them an opportunity to disappear, and laying breadcrumbs onto a flight out of the country would do the trick if he did it carefully. He only needed to buy them some time. Just a few days at the safehouse in Puerto Escondido to give Alejandro a chance to get back on his feet, and access to secure phone lines and paperwork to lay more detailed trails for them. Then they'd be out of the country, ghosts, untraceable even by the assholes who wanted him on a tight leash.  
  


\----------------------  
  


As they began to drive through more populated areas, Matt eased off the gas and pulled over.

‘Let's get the gear packed up, we’re not too far out now.’

Alejandro followed suit as Matt climbed out and opened the back door, digging into a duffle bag for gun holsters. Alejandro joined him, both of them slinging on shoulder holsters, Alejandro strapping another to his ankle. They weren't looking for a fight, but it was second nature to go in prepared. Matt grabbed their jackets from where they'd been draped over the backseat, pulled his own on before helping Alejandro into his. Matt took in his stilted movements.

‘How're you feeling?’

Alejandro rotated his shoulders, spoke slowly, carefully.

‘Sore. My ribs, around my back, everything is stiff. Drugs are wearing off.’

Alejandro picked up guns, filling his holsters, adjusting his jacket.

‘Face hurts.’

Matt huffed out a breath.

‘Yeah, I bet.’

He packed his own holsters, started shoving the rest of their medical supplies into the half-empty weapons bag. He managed to condense everything down to two bags, easy to handle by himself that way, and climbed back behind the wheel.

‘I don't think this delay will cost us much. Maybe an hour? Just lead them on a bit of an adventure and then sneak back out onto the highway.’

Alejandro nodded, walked back to his side of the car, expression focused. They'd worked together in some capacity for almost fifteen years now, and Matt didn't think he'd ever tire of seeing Alejandro slip into work mode. Hyper-focused, calculating, deadly. Like he was loosening the reins on the beast that slumbered inside him. Maybe Matt just had a thing for competence, but it made some kindred nature in him sit up and take notice, every single time. It was why they worked so effectively together, he was sure. Their monsters played well. 

Even in moments like this, with Alejandro injured and Matt almost snarling with a possessive need to protect the man he loved, he knew they were both uniquely well equipped to handle anything that came at them. An unstoppable force. His bosses would do better to just let them walk, but then, the suits never were all that smart.

Even in those early years when Alejandro was still a prosecutor helping them from the inside, he'd been uncommonly driven, brutal. Relentless. Held his softness in reserve for his family. When they’d been taken from him Matt had stepped in, kept him from drowning in his grief, taught him how to redirect all that pain. Been witness to Alejandro finding his balance again, and the creature in him growing into something elegantly vicious.

Matt's feelings toward him had been complicated right from the start, attraction and a powerful respect blending in with a desire to see what this man would become in time. But it was being by Alejandro's side during the worst suffering of his life, and seeing him survive, that irrevocably twined the two of them together. Forged a bond that had held strong ever since.

He held his heart in check for years, knowing that the feelings he had were only growing deeper with time, and would complicate everything if he were to act on them. Even after he recognised an answering burn simmering in Alejandro, he’d held back. Didn't want to risk ruining what they had. Didn't think there was any chance Alejandro would feel the same way about him, and the thought of revealing his heart and being rejected had been terrifying. He’d come to understand just how unnecessary that hesitation had been in the years since. They were so good together, their love, their passion, their demons. Everything so in sync, powerful on their own and damn near unconquerable together.

It was why, as he parked the car on a kerbside in Tepito, dumping the keys on the driver's seat and hefting up their bags, he knew they’d make it clear of this entire situation. 

Alejandro led them through blocks of closed up markets, the streets quiet at this hour of the morning, though far from deserted. He cut a menacing figure, tall and well dressed, tell-tale bulge of guns under his linen jacket, face bruised and bandaged. Matt a solid presence at his back. 

They navigated their way for a few more blocks, needing to be seen in the open without making it look like that was their intention. Alejandro paused at the doorway to a 24-hour liquor store, and Matt hung at the entrance while he disappeared inside for a few moments, reappearing with a paper-wrapped bottle in his hand. He gestured at his bandaged face.

‘Mezcal. Let's go check into a hotel.’

Matt grinned at him.

‘Glad you're following the rules of wound maintenance to the letter. I think I spotted a place a block back with an eatery off the foyer, would let us make a discreet exit.’

They doubled back to the hotel, Matt checking them in at the quiet reception desk. He brushed against Alejandro's side as they rode the elevator up to their floor, wishing they had time to sleep when he walked into their room and laid eyes upon the generous bed. He joined Alejandro as he sat at the small dining table, unscrewing the bottle of mezcal and pouring them each a solid measure into a couple of glasses. Matt raised his drink, tilting it at Alejandro in a toast before taking a long sip, the liquor burning bright and smokey on his tongue. 

‘How about I book us a couple of tickets out, get them watching the flights?’

Matt was drawing a burner phone out of his pocket, logging into the hotel wifi, another breadcrumb for the bastards to follow. He googled up flight info, looking for anything that would leave early and seem believable. 

‘Montenegro via Rome, leaves in a few hours, let them think we're holding here for a while yet.’

He smirked at Alejandro as he purchased tickets for them, charging the same alias card he'd used for the hotel. Old enough that it wouldn't flag up unless someone was watching as closely as he knew they would be.

‘Montenegro would be pleasant this time of year.’

Alejandro's voice sounded a little clearer than earlier, throat straining less as the swelling went down. Matt laughed.

‘No extradition is pleasant anytime of year.’

Alejandro made a soft noise of agreement as he poured them another drink and reclined in his chair. 

Matt exhaled hard, threw his drink back, put the glass down as he slowly stood and circled around the table. He leant forward to rest his hands on the arms of the chair, moving right into the space Alejandro was making between his spreading thighs, and pressed their mouths together. He licked along his bottom lip, sucked it between his own, pressed forward to deepen the kiss as carefully as he could. Alejandro reached for his neck, gripping him forcefully with one hand tangled in his hair, held him in place as he arched up into the kiss. Matt was starving, desperately wanting nothing more than to devour this man and not come back up for air. Maybe it was heightened by all the years of holding back, or a lifetime of never feeling anything quite like this connection, but Matt knew in the very core of himself that he would be hungry for what burned between them for the rest of his days. He growled in his chest as he pulled back, a wolfish grin curving his lips.

‘We should keep moving.’

Alejandro stared at him silently for a moment, pale eyes grown dark, before he rose from his chair and recapped the mezcal, tucking it into a bag.  

They caught the elevator back to the foyer and walked through into the adjoining eatery, Matt following Alejandro through a service door and into the kitchen, crossing out into the back alleyway. They stuck close to the buildings, maneuvering under the cover of awnings and fire escapes, making their way over a couple of blocks. A small parking garage gave them the opportunity they needed, and in a few more moments Matt had hotwired them a car and was swerving out into the street. 

Laughter bubbled out of him as he reached over to squeeze Alejandro's knee.

‘Puerto Escondido or bust!’

He flashed a smile at the man next to him, eyes bright, a wave of contentment washing over him. Alejandro was regarding him with a gentle expression, lips quirking.

‘Couple of hours through to Puebla City, should be word from Steve by then. Kick back, mi sol, get comfy.’  
  


\-------------------------  
  


They cleared the city with no further issues, Alejandro dozing in the passenger seat, relaxing utterly once he'd given himself another dose of painkillers. 

Matt was studying the pre-dawn horizon, sky losing it's black endlessness and slipping slowly into an inky deep blue, the mountains and dense expanse of pine forest growing ever closer in the windscreen. 

He imagined there was snow at the volcano summit, obscured from view. Alejandro hadn't seen much snow. Matt had been so charmed by the look on his face during this last op when they first stepped off the Gulfstream into the frigid Northern Utah night at Wheeler's facility. Childlike glee had coloured his features as he watched his breath ghost into the air, fascinated. Jesus, that had only been a handful of days ago. It felt like a lifetime had passed since then.

Matt glanced over at the man sleeping next to him, overwhelmed with gratitude for the way his life had gone. When he used to picture the future it had always been desperately bleak. Violent and lonely, right until the bitter end. Falling in love with Alejandro had, in the beginning, just made him more afraid of all the ways the life he'd constructed could crush him. But realising that Alejandro had fallen in love with him? That had changed fucking  _ everything _ . Like something bright had caught alight in his chest. Like he was waking up from a coma. And here they were, escaping into a future that, for the first time in his life, felt warm. Hopeful.

He wanted to show Alejandro the snow. Proper snow. He wanted to show him every single part of the world he hadn't seen.  
  


\--------------------------

 

Matt eased off their speed as they drove through the city, appreciating the architecture of the place all lit up with the golden dawn light. Alejandro had woken up a few minutes earlier and was staring out the windows, as transfixed as Matt.

‘I haven't been through Puebla City in years. It really is beautiful, isn't it?’

Matt hummed.

‘Colonialism, eh? But yeah, fucking gorgeous. There's a whole street of candy stores, man I still remember that discovery. Made myself so sick.’

Alejandro laughed, shot Matt a soft smile, the twitch in his brow hinting at the pain the action caused him.

‘Steve had to have been involved in that.’

Matt laughed, loud and open, the memory like sunshine.

‘Oh yeah, you know what he's like with sweets. That was one of our first extended jobs together. He was fearless, a tough little bastard right from the start, and I’ve never seen a more enthusiastic recreation of that audition scene from Flashdance.’

Alejandro had turned in his seat, watching Matt steadily, smile indulgent.

‘I think I met up with all of you a few days after that. You kept calling him Alex Owens. I never did ask you why, but well, that explains it.’

Matt draped his arm out the open window, hand tapping on the side of the car. His smile cooled, concern twisting it into something melancholy. Alejandro was watching him closely.

‘Men like him adapt, Matt. They survive. He’ll be fine.’

Matt nodded, exhaled a long breath.

‘Yeah. Yeah, I know. It's just, if things get fucked for him it'll be because of me.’

Alejandro scoffed, shaking his head.

‘He’ll be  _ fine _ . You know, he threatened me once?’

Matt's attention snapped to him.

_ ‘ What? ’ _

Alejandro was smiling again, deeply amused.

‘Mmm. Not long after we got back from our,  _ ah h _ _,_ extended break…’

He gave Matt a hot once-over, and Matt felt his blood thrum with the memories of those first few months of  _ them . _

‘...he cornered me. Gave me the whole protective speech.  _ Okay, I just need to be really clear with you. I know your reputation, know who you are El Medellin, but I give no fucks. You hurt him, I will kick your ass . _ And then he hugged me.’

Matt laughed uncontrollably. The balls on that kid!

‘Jesus, Steve.’

Alejandro tilted his head, his own laughter soft.

‘He’ll be fine.’

Matt was nodding.

‘Yeah.’

 

\-----------------------  
  


He pulled up at an internet cafe, taking a deep breath as he killed the engine. He was sure they'd done enough to cover their tracks, but he wanted confirmation that they’d taken the bait before he took them any further. 

‘Back in a few.’

The place was pretty empty this time of morning. He logged into a computer, went through the motions of accessing a secondary dropbox, and was struck anew by a sense of gratefulness that he and Steve had set this up. They’d be able to stay in touch, no matter how far off the grid he went, and in a few more days Matt planned on taking them as far off the grid as he could manage.

One message.

_ All clear, boss. _

Matt released the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. They were good. They were  _ good. _

He climbed back in the car, grinning, leaning over Alejandro and kissing him deep.

‘Lunch in Oaxaca?’

Alejandro hummed at the suggestion and Matt chuckled.

‘I’ll find you something delicious to have through a straw.’

Alejandro laughed.

‘Let's start with coffee, mi amor.’

He reeled Matt back in for another kiss, biting at his lip, licking slowly into his mouth. Matt melted into it, let Alejandro lead, mindful of the pain he must still be in. He carded his fingers through Alejandro's hair, cradled the back of his head, holding him close. Aching for a lifetime of just this.  
  


\---------------------  
  


By the time they reached the Villa Etla markets Matt was so hungry he was sure he'd buy everything in sight. He’d spent the last couple of hours alternating between watching Alejandro sleep, and thinking about tlayudas and cafe de olla. Fucking chapulin tacos. Fuck, he’d missed Oaxaca. He was just about dragging Alejandro out of the car once he’d parked, vaguely guilty with the knowledge that eating wasn't really an option for him.

‘Coffee first, that was the deal, don't worry. Not actually sure how you’ve managed to last this long without it.’

Alejandro had broken into a coffee bar in the middle of the night once, while their team had been waiting for a late extraction at the end of an op. Matt had hung back with the boys and watched in entertained fascination as Alejandro made himself a doppio and perched on the edge of the countertop, becoming less moody with every sip. 

‘Hey, you remember that coffee bar in Tangier?’

Alejandro smirked, catching on to Matt's train of thought.

‘I remember I made all of you coffee and you were terribly grateful.’

Steve had thought it was hilarious, and ever since then would randomly gift Alejandro cups of takeaway coffee, which possibly had something to do with Alejandro's affection for him.

‘I think everyone was just glad that you stopped glaring murderously at them.’

He clapped Alejandro playfully on the shoulder, lead them towards the rows of stalls stretching out in front of them. The scent of the market was incredible, Matt's mouth watering at the heady mix of toasted spices and grilled meats, fat and oil and charcoal smoke. His eyes almost glazed over with joy at the options, family recipes generations old, things you just couldn't get anywhere else in the world but here. Oaxaca delivered the goods every damn time.

‘Let's just buy everything. Won't have to go out for groceries once we get to the apartment that way.’

Alejandro waited for their coffees as Matt drifting away towards long rows of produce, caught up as he was paying for more fruit than he reasonably needed. 

‘You should eat before you shop, or we’ll be leaving with the whole market.’

Alejandro passed Matt a cup, took a long sip from his own, a filthy sound of blissful joy rumbling from his chest. Matt's eyes tracked his throat as he swallowed.

‘Jesus.’

He shifted, took a deep breath, a sip of his own cinnamon-spiked coffee. Held Alejandro's teasing gaze for a moment.

‘Right. Okay. Focus.’

Alejandro let the corner of his mouth curl up, reached out to take the bag from Matt's hand, fingers brushing.   
  


\----------------------  
  


Alejandro had insisted on driving for a few hours, pushing Matt towards the passenger door as they left the markets before he could argue, and as Matt sprawled in the seat he was grateful he hadn't tried. They were back on the highway in a matter of minutes, midday sun warming his arm where he'd draped it over the open window, watching the scenery rush by. 

Oaxaca had always been a favourite of his. There was just something about places this old, where it felt like the streets were heavy with ghosts. Thousands of years of life just ticking on by, the machinations of humans an entertaining footnote. It made him feel utterly insignificant, in the most exhilarating way possible. There were perhaps a half dozen people in the world who could do his job, who held the puppet strings, the secrets, like he did. He wore the weight of it like armor most days, holding his position at the top of the food chain with a ruthless grip, but there was no denying how stifling it was. 

If they'd had the time right now he'd stretch the trip through here over weeks, explore and eat and lose himself to a different rhythm, with Alejandro by his side. But he supposed, after this initial adjustment, they'd have all the time in the world. Fuck it if that wasn't a crazy thought. Matt let his eyes close, the wind whipping his hair back, body relaxing. He felt like he was flying, the new reality of his life crystallizing around him as they sped towards the coast.  
  


\--------------------------

 

They’d switched back behind the wheel once Matt had woken up, the few hours of sleep giving him enough of a boost to get them the rest of the way. Alejandro had hesitated at first, but the minute he was in the passenger seat he was asleep, so it had been a good call. 

It was late afternoon by the time he stirred, the car sweltering, holding onto the heat of hours on the road. Even with all the windows down, Matt felt like he was slowly cooking, longing for the ocean breezes. Alejandro shifted around in his seat, maneuvering until he could get his jacket off. 

‘Do you want me to pull over? Get out of the car for a bit?’

Alejandro tossed his jacket over the back, rolled up his sleeves, undid a few extra buttons on his shirt. Matt tracked a bead of sweat trailing down his neck, wanted to lick it from his throat. He didn't think he'd ever been this attracted to another person in his life, like he was perpetually half a breath away from forgetting his own name. Alejandro was watching him steadily, no doubt reading his thoughts straight off his face.

‘How far out are we?’

Matt glanced at his watch.

‘Maybe 45 minutes? Not much further.’

Alejandro shook his head, ran a hand through his disheveled hair.

‘Let's keep going then. It'll be cooler by the ocean.’

Matt grinned, predatory.

‘Or you know,  _ in _ the ocean could be an even better idea. Just tell me you keep a pair of  _those shorts_ at the apartment…’

Alejandro hummed, flashing Matt a wicked look. Matt laughed.

‘Hey look, it's not my fault your small designer swimwear is so memorable. My brain has permanently linked Puerto Escondido to the vision of you emerging from the ocean like Daniel Craig in that James Bond movie, and that's entirely on you my friend.’

Alejandro chuckled softly, reaching a hand over to squeeze Matt's knee, sliding it slowly upwards to massage the inside of his thigh. Matt almost choked on a breath. 

‘Did I say 45 minutes? I meant 25.’  
  


\--------------------------

 

Matt had known about this safehouse for years, a gift of trust from Alejandro on a long ago night on the beach, but he'd never had the occasion to actually see inside it. He shouldered their bags and followed Alejandro through the door, eyebrow raising as he looked about the apartment. 

‘Wow. My kind of set up.’

Alejandro busied himself unpacking grocery bags onto the kitchen bench, smirking at Matt's expression, before moving through the room to remove dust sheets from the furniture. 

‘I thought you might enjoy it here. I needed an office, and there was only one bedroom, so I made it work.’

Matt moved further into what would have been the living room in any other place, but here it had been turned into a bedroom. Alejandro's favourite pale linen everywhere, the only thing that made the apartment feel personal. Sheer curtains softened the view, a few lamps, a small couch and coffee table taking the place of a bedhead. And the bed. Positioned to take in the incredible view, glass doors looking out on a glass balcony, so you’d be able to lay in bed watching the ocean. Matt was revising his idea about how long they’d spend here as Alejandro walked up behind him, slipping arms around his waist.

‘Mi amor…’

He pressed kisses into Matt's neck, behind his ear.

‘...a swim later, perhaps? For now…’

He slowly began unbuttoning Matt's shirt, fingertips skating over every new inch of exposed skin.

‘...that was a long trip, and I was thinking you might like to join me in the shower, because I really…’

He reached the last button of Matt's shirt, dipped under the waistband of his jeans, teasing at bare skin.

‘...really…’

Fingers worked at his buckle, popped the button of his fly.

‘...need to get my hands on you.’

Both hands slipped inside his jeans, stroking the tops of his thighs, clutched his hips and drew him back against the bulk of Alejandro's body.

Matt groaned, arching against him, letting his head drop back onto Alejandro's shoulder. Alejandro slid his hands up, dragging them to Matt's waist, turning him in his arms to bring them face to face. Matt wrapped his hands around the back of Alejandro's neck and coaxed him down to press their mouths together, the kiss tender, turning a little filthy around the edges. They broke apart, drew shaky breaths, and Alejandro wrapped his hands in Matt's open shirt to tug him down hallway into the bathroom. 

Matt dropped to his knees on the cold tile, rested his head against Alejandro's thigh as he unlaced and yanked off their shoes, fingers running through his hair as he worked. His hands traveled up Alejandro's body as he stood, attention turning to undoing his belt and pants, unbuttoning his shirt, until they mirrored each other.

Matt grasped the fabric of Alejandro's shirt, slipped it from his shoulders, revealing the extent of the blackening bruises littering his body. It would probably look even more dreadful tomorrow. He’d expected it, he  _ had _ , and he’d seen countless injuries vastly more terrible, but the sight made his heart ache. 

Alejandro reached for him, undressed him with gentle hands, silent. Matt closed his eyes, tried to steady his shaking breath, focused on the softness of Alejandro's movements. The surge of the shower turning on, water striking tile, the whisper of bunching fabric and clink of his belt buckle. Warm hands grasping, leading him under the hot spray. Lips brushing along his cheekbone, resting against his temple.

‘Matt…’

A barely-there kiss to the corner of his eye.

‘...come now,  _ mi alma _ , look at me.’

Matt blinked slowly, droplets of water settling on his eyelashes, and Alejandro hummed.

‘I have endured far worse than this.’

He placed Matt's hand upon his chest, ran their twined fingers along a roadmap of close calls. The puckered scars of bullet wounds, burns, jagged lines from the bite of knives both fast and slow. Every one a testament to Alejandro's strength, of help come too late, or just in time. Or not at all. He rested Matt's hands on his hips, reached for the bandages on his cheeks and peeled them off, tossing them aside, gaze unwavering. He ran his hands through Matt's dripping hair. 

‘It has been a long time since I had so much to lose. Since I had this kind of incentive to live.’

He drew Matt close to him, pressed quiet words into his skin.

‘I will always fight to come home to you, even with my final breath.’

The ache in Matt’s chest pulsed with something sweet, clawing it's way out from underneath the pain. He gripped Alejandro's hip with one hand, shifted the other to the nape of his neck, kissed him slow and deep.

Alejandro wrapped him up in his arms, anchored him, bodies pressed tight under the cascading water. They held each other until the spray began to run cool, neither wanting to let go, until Alejandro shivered. Matt ran careful fingers along his jaw, placed a delicate kiss to his cheek, turned off the taps.

‘Come on.’

He led Alejandro from the shower and broke contact long enough to fetch towels from under the sink, both of them spending a brief moment drying most of the water from their skin.

Alejandro moved to the vanity, retrieved a bottle of lube, and pressed it into Matt's hand.

‘Take me to bed.’

Matt pulled him back down into another kiss, growing hungry,  _ wanting _ , as they stumbled down the hallway. The sun had begun to set while they showered, and the apartment was ablaze with golden light. Alejandro sprawled carefully across the bed, his bruise-mottled skin painted sweet in the pinks and honeyed ambers of the departing day, and Matt climbed after him, spellbound. He trailed fingers along his calves, settling between his thighs, wanting to taste the glow on his skin as he leaned in to claim his perfect mouth again.

Alejandro arched against him, moaning as he wrapped a leg over Matt's hip, drawing their bodies together. Matt shifted, rolling his hips as he lined up their hardening cocks, the friction a blissful torture. The caress of lips and breath grew demanding, Matt licking into Alejandro's mouth, greedily drinking down every sigh, every ravenous sound.

He tucked his face into the curve of Alejandro's neck, breathed him in, left a trail of kisses along his throat and groaned at the feel of their cocks leaking against one another, movements growing slick and hot. 

Alejandro clutched at his hand, brought it up to kiss his knuckles, forcing Matt to shift his weight onto one bent arm. Matt watched, captivated by the sight of Alejandro sucking his fingers into his mouth, licking and biting, drawing them free. He unhooked his leg from Matt's hip, spread his thigh wide.

‘Give me your fingers.’

His voice was raw, begging. Matt moaned, echoing his neediness back to him as he moved his hand down to stroke at his entrance, pressing a finger inside him. 

He licked into Alejandro's mouth, swallowed down every delicious noise he made, and teased a second finger around the edge of the first in a slow breach.

The thready growl that vibrated from Alejandro's chest had Matt groaning, stilling his hand for a moment, only to have Alejandro rock down and take both fingers to the hilt, moaning loud.

‘Jesus, yeah, okay.’

Matt was breathing hard, painfully aroused and concentrating desperately, twisting his fingers to work Alejandro open. He gradually shifted, rising up to settle on his knees, his fingers holding a steady rhythm. He picked up the lube with his free hand, flipped open the lid and poured it over his remaining fingers before recapping and tossing it aside.

Alejandro was watching him intently, just the tiniest hint of pale hazel-green ringing arousal-blown pupils. His tongue tracing his swollen bottom lip, wet and flushed from where he'd been sucking it between his teeth. Matt's cock ached, need pooling low in his belly. 

He held Alejandro's heavy gaze as he began to push his little finger into his body, and Alejandro exhaled slowly, relaxing to take the stretch. The sight was breathtaking, intoxicating, Alejandro's powerful body writhing and responsive underneath him. Matt ran his hand appreciatively over Alejandro's thigh, his hip, rested it on his stomach to feel his muscles shaking there as the fingers of his other hand continued to work him open. 

He slowly traced his index finger along his stretched rim, paused when Alejandro shook his head. 

‘You next.’

Matt exhaled hard, three fingers still working inside Alejandro. 

‘Come on, you need one more, I don't want to hurt you.’

Alejandro ground down on his hand.

‘What I  _ need _ is more lube, and then I need you.’

He reached for Matt's cock, stroking him slow and firm.

‘Matt, mi amor, quiero que me cojas.’  _ my love, I want you to fuck me _

Matt moaned, lost to Alejandro's desire, hesitation dissolving at the certainty in his voice. He was reaching for the lube again, groaning as Alejandro let go of his cock. 

He slid his fingers almost entirely free from Alejandro's body, coated them in slick and pushed back inside, the gesture brief, before slipping out completely. Alejandro's breath caught on a sharp inhale, before he wrapped a hand around his own cock and stroked, opening his thighs wider. 

Matt took himself in hand, poured enough lube over his cock that it dripped through his fingers, the vision of Alejandro spread out and touching himself turning the desire in his belly heavy and urgent. He lined himself up and gradually began to sink forward into Alejandro's body, watched as the other man's hand paused on his cock at the substantial stretch, breath catching, fist tightening in the sheets.

Matt's eyes drifted closed for a moment, head rolling back on his shoulders, luxuriating in the feeling of being engulfed in their pleasure.

‘ _ Fuck _ , you're tight….’

Alejandro began stroking himself again as Matt opened his eyes.

‘...so goddamn good.’

Matt groaned as he pressed just a little deeper, reveling in the hot grip of Alejandro's body. He felt Alejandro shift underneath him, and before his brain registered what was happening strong legs had wrapped around him, pulled him forward in one fluid motion.

Alejandro was crying out, the sound delicious and utterly wrecked, overwhelmed as Matt's cock filled him, bodies pressed flush.

‘Oh god, fuck!’

Matt was shouting, gasping, arching his back with the suddenness of it. Falling forward to brace himself by Alejandro's shoulders, fingers grasping at the sheets, toes curling.

‘Fuck, Alejandro…’

He steadied himself, tried to breath. Alejandro was groaning quietly underneath him, hand stilled on his cock. Matt dropped kisses to his temple, listened to the shivery breaths he was taking.

‘Matt, dios mio, you feel incredible. Stay here a moment, just let me…’

Alejandro grasped at his shoulders, fingers digging into taut muscle and holding him close. As his breath evened out he began an excruciatingly slow roll of his hips, working himself on Matt's cock, the stretch easing little by little. Matt felt like he might float away, his brain shorting out with the hazy intensity, his skin buzzing. 

He reached for Alejandro's thigh, hitching it tighter to his hip, anchoring himself. He skimmed his mouth across Alejandro's, a barely-there caress of breath, lips catching. Alejandro cupped his face, fingers tracing his jaw, his cheekbones.

‘Te amo, Matt…’  _ I love you _

The ghost of a kiss.

‘...te amo tanto.’  _ I love you so much _

Matt brushed their mouths together, whispered close, repeated a promise made long ago.

‘For as long as you will have me, my love.’

Lips caught, the kiss deep, intimate and hungry and adoring. Their hips moved together, rhythm held tight, seeking and giving, driving each other higher. Worshipful. 

Alejandro skated his knuckles over Matt's braced forearm, tangled their fingers together. He hooked his ankles around Matt's hips, long legs wrapping him close, and Matt's next thrust had him hitting an angle that drew a broken moan from Alejandro's lips. The sound skittered through Matt's veins, sparking a heady, possessive heat in his blood. He drove himself into Alejandro's body again and again, chasing those perfect noises, tasting them on his lips as Alejandro lost himself. 

Matt was aching, wanton need tightening his gut, his own breath punching out of him in shivery bursts. He grasped at Alejandro's fingers, his hip, clinging as his pace grew messy, Alejandro wild against him.

‘God, you're so beautiful…’

He palmed a path from Alejandro's hip to his leaking cock, stroked him with a firm grip.

‘...come on, my love, let me watch you fall.’

A few more heavy passes of his hand as he fucked into Alejandro, chasing their release, and they were both coming hard, crying out as they crashed over the peak together.

They stayed wrapped up in one another as aftershocks shuddered through their bodies, as their breathing slowed. Matt gingerly eased himself from Alejandro's body, lay down next to him, curling into his side. They watched each other, expressions soft, and Matt drew their tangled fingers to his lips. Alejandro stroked a hand over Matt's cheek, echoed his heart back to him.

‘For as long as you will have me.’

They held each other, and slept.  
  


\------------------------------  
  


Matt had left Alejandro dozing, found some pants, and was leaning on the balcony rail watching the pre-dawn sky lighten. The Pacific Ocean stretched out in front of him, nothing but open seas out to the horizon, the potent lure of endless possibilities. 

A few days more here, perhaps, before continuing their journey onwards. Alejandro's apartment in Cartagena was secure, and more than that it felt like  _ home _ , and he didn't need to ask to know that's where they were headed.

He felt Alejandro stirring behind him, the rustle of fabric as he left their bed, the approach of footsteps over balcony tile. Matt glanced over as he joined him at the rail, took in the sight of him, bare but for the sheet wrapped low around his hips.

‘That's a good look on you.’

Matt pulled him down into a brief kiss, smiled fondly before turning back to the view. They stood in comfortable silence, watching waves crashing on the deserted beach below. 

He had no idea what really came next for them, what kind of life they would carve out together. Their monsters would need feeding eventually, and the sort of men they were, well. You didn't just walk away from that. But things would be on  _ their _ terms now, one way or another. And they had each other, above all else.

Alejandro brushed their shoulders, took Matt's hand and held tight, fingers laced. They lingered there, watching gold catch the clouds, salty breeze cooling their warm skin, together and content. 

Their future waiting for them.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna come say hi on tumblr you can find me at littleaccomplice :)


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